How to support someone struggling with their mental health
It can be hard to know what to say when someone confides in you that they’re struggling. Here are some tips to help you help them.
Key points
- You can help someone struggling with their mental health
- Discover the signs and situations to watch for
- How to help someone who can’t cope
- How to find professional help for someone in crisis
Many of us face mental health challenges from time to time, they’re part of everyday life. But how can you tell if someone you know is struggling to cope? And how can you help them if they are? Here are some tips you may find useful.
Signs someone might not be OK
Sometimes, the signs aren’t clear that someone’s struggling with their mental health. Some people won’t show any signs at all when they’re finding it hard to cope. But if you’ve noticed someone you know is behaving differently to normal and showing some of these signs, they may need help:
- More irritable, restless or tired than usual
- Not wanting to be around people or talk to them
- Not replying to messages
- Not coping with everyday tasks
- Not enjoying the things they usually do
Has something happened you’re not aware of?
Sometimes, life’s events can get on top of us, so it can be useful to know if someone’s dealing with an issue at home or work that could affect their mental wellbeing.
They might have suffered the loss of a friend or family member, for example. Or they might be really worried about finances, their job or their relationship.
The Samaritans have some excellent tips on how to identify signs and situations that could reveal that someone is struggling to cope.
Ways you can help someone who’s struggling
If you’ve noticed that someone seems very worried or not their usual selves, the first thing you can do is tell them that you’re concerned about them. This lets them know you care about them and are there to help, if they need it.
You should try not to force a conversation or act differently than you usually do towards the person. If they admit that they’re worried about something, give them the space to tell you about it in their own time.
The NHS offers some advice on how to help someone who might not be coping.
How to really listen
If someone starts to open up to you about their worries, listening to them is the first practical thing you can do to help them. Really listening properly is a skill that’s worth learning. You have to give the person your full attention and not feel that you have to offer advice. Try not to interrupt. Just ask calm, open questions that encourage them to answer more fully than just ‘yes’ or ‘no’. For example, instead of ‘are you OK?’, you could ask ‘how are you feeling today?’.
The Samaritans have some expert advice on ‘active listening’.
What to do if they need more help than you can give
If the person you’re worried about is in distress and you feel they need professional help, you should suggest that they see their GP or talk everything through with a trained therapist. The NHS gives advice on how to find this specialised help.
If you feel they need more urgent help and can’t wait to see their GP, call the NHS helpline on 111 and choose the mental health option. Or if they are in immediate danger, call 999 or go with them to A&E.
Here’s more detailed advice from the NHS.
Help is here
When someone lets you know that they’re not okay, you’ll want to do everything you can to support them. So these contacts may be useful to pass on to someone who’s really struggling:
- Samaritans are on call 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
- National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK is a listening service for anyone with suicidal thoughts.
- Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) offers resources to support mental health, including a helpline and a webchat service where you can talk about any struggles you might be having.
- MIND is a mental health charity dedicated to supporting people’s mental health.
Related articles
