Macmillan Cancer Support reports that many carers in the UK miss out on support Footnote [1]. When someone close to you becomes a carer, it’s natural to focus on the person they’re looking after. But carers need care too. They often carry a lot - emotionally, physically, and mentally - and over time, that can take a toll.
It’s easy for carers to overlook their own needs. They might not even see themselves as carers - just someone helping out. Macmillan notes that recognising their role is the first step to carers getting the support they deserve Footnote [1]. Whether it’s emotional reassurance, practical help, or simply someone to talk to, small gestures can make a big difference.
If you’re worried about someone who’s caring for a loved one, there are signs to look out for. These can include constant tiredness, difficulty sleeping, low mood, or feeling overwhelmed. A gentle check-in such as - “You’ve been doing so much lately - how are you really feeling?” - can open the door to a conversation that helps them feel seen and supported.
Below are simple, thoughtful ways to support someone who’s caring for a loved one
1. Acknowledge what they’re doing
Many carers don’t see themselves as carers. They might say, “I’m just helping out,” or “It’s what anyone would do.” But recognising their role can help them feel seen - and more likely to seek support. Even a simple message like this can help:
- “You’re doing an incredible job.”
- “I can see how much you’re taking on.”
This kind of recognition can be a turning point. It helps carers realise they’re not alone, and that what they’re doing matters.
2. Offer practical help
Carers often have a lot on their plate. Offering to help with everyday tasks can ease the pressure. Here are a few thoughtful ways to lend a hand:
- Cook a meal or make meals that can be frozen.
- Drop off some groceries.
- Help with cleaning the house or laundry.
- Offer help with getting to appointments.
Be specific. Instead of: “Let me know if you need anything, try: "I'm free on Saturday - can I come over and help with the garden?”
3. Be there to listen
Sometimes, the best support is simply being there. Giving them space to talk can help, carers may not always want advice - they might just need someone to listen. If they do open up, let them share how they’re feeling without trying to fix it. You could say something like:
- “I’m here if you ever want to talk.”
- “How are you really doing?”
- “Would it help to chat, or would you prefer a bit of quiet time?”
- “That sounds tough. Do you want to talk about it?”
A short chat over a cup of tea and regular calls or text messages to check-in, can make a big difference.
4. Encourage them to take time for themselves
Carers often put their own needs last. But taking breaks and looking after their own wellbeing is important. Even little things like this can make a big difference:
- Offer to sit with the person they care for, so they can take a break.
- Suggest a short walk or coffee together.
- Remind them it’s okay to rest.
Looking after themselves helps them stay strong for the person they’re caring for.
5. Help them find support
There’s help out there - but carers don’t always know where to look. You could point them towards organisations like Macmillan Cancer Support, which offers advice, emotional support, and online communities. You might also help them:
- Look up local carers’ groups or online communities.
- Download a support guide or find booklets.
- Make a call to a helpline for counselling or support.
Sometimes, just knowing someone’s in their corner is enough to help them take that first step.
Supporting a carer doesn’t have to be complicated. Being thoughtful with a kind word, a helping hand, or a listening ear can go a long way. By caring for the carer, you’re helping them keep going - and reminding them they’re not alone.
