Feeling lonely can be difficult, but you're not alone. The charity CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) can help you understand your feelings and find ways to cope. CALM will listen and help, so no one has to face their problems on their own.
Loneliness is something many of us experience - it’s part of being human. Nearly half of UK adults say they feel lonely some or most of the time Footnote [1] and that number rises for those facing mental health challenges Footnote [2] .
If that sounds familiar, please know this: you’re not alone. What you’re feeling is valid, and you’re not the only one going through it.
Wherever you are right now, there’s probably someone just two doors down feeling the same way. Maybe it’s the neighbour who always waves but never stops to chat, or the colleague who seems fine but keeps their camera off in meetings. It’s not because you’re broken or failing - it’s because we’re wired for connection, and sometimes that connection is hard to find.
Loneliness can feel like being a puzzle piece without a place. You know you’re meant to fit somewhere - you’re ready for connection - but finding that fit isn’t always easy.
The good news? Coping with loneliness isn’t just about talking to people or finding ‘the one’. Despite what films and social media might suggest, connection comes in many forms.
What is loneliness?
- Feeling alone and isolated for long periods of time.
- Having no one to talk to or go to for support or enjoyment.
- Being around people but still feeling alone or isolated.
Loneliness is a normal emotion. Sometimes it’s fleeting, and sometimes it can feel all-consuming - making everyday life harder to manage. You might feel this way for lots of reasons. But support is available.
CALM has tools and resources to help you cope, and there are ways forward that can make things feel lighter, one step at a time.
How does it feel to be lonely?
It can feel embarrassing or shameful to admit we feel lonely. But loneliness is a natural emotion - it doesn’t mean you’ve failed or done anything wrong. In fact, over 3.8 million UK adults have experienced chronic loneliness Footnote [3].
The more we talk about it, the more we break down the stigma and open the door to real support. Understanding and connection are key to tackling loneliness, and it starts with honest conversations.
Loneliness isn’t just in your head. Humans are social creatures - we’re wired to connect. And when that connection is missing, it can affect more than just your mood. It’s linked to an increase in the risk of early death Footnote [4], and is associated with higher rates of depression, obesity, and even heart disease Footnote [5].
The good news? Loneliness is something you can tackle. With the right support and small steps, things can start to feel better.
Dealing with loneliness
- Re-connect. It might feel awkward reaching out to an old friend, but it doesn’t have to. People drift apart for all sorts of reasons. If there’s someone you used to enjoy spending time with, why not send a message, schedule a meet-up, or jump on a video call? Reconnecting can spark joy, rebuild confidence, and remind you that meaningful relationships don’t always fade - they can be reignited.
- Talk about it. If you’ve already got a solid group of friends or family members, let them know how you’ve been feeling. Sharing how you’re feeling, and scheduling in a time to chat and catch up could be all it takes
- Rejection. It’s completely normal to feel nervous about making the first move in a social or romantic situation. Fear of rejection can hold us back - but it doesn’t have to. Taking that step, even if it feels uncomfortable, can lead to connection and growth. And if someone doesn’t respond, try to remember - it’s not a reflection of your worth. Often, it says more about where they are, than where you are.
- Join your local community. Got a passion? Use it. Having something in common with a stranger is a great way to connect with people. Search online for groups or communities in your area that have the same interests – from cycling to dungeons and dragons, there’s something for everyone. CALM even have some communities of their own – find out more about CALM Clubs.
- Connect online. Social media can make us feel more connected than ever. Joining communities of like-minded people online is a great way to feel validated – especially if you feel like there’s no one like you in and around your area.
A small act of connection can make a big difference to how you feel - and it’s backed by experts . Micro-connections, like brief chats or shared smiles, can significantly ease feelings of loneliness.Footnote [6]
Think about saying hello to your barista, chatting with a neighbour while taking out the bins, or even commenting on a colleague’s Teams status. These tiny moments remind us we’re part of something bigger.
So give it a go if you can - it doesn’t have to be a big heart-to-heart to make a real difference.
Where can I find more help
- Visit the CALM website to find more places to get help with loneliness and social isolation.
- You can get your thoughts and emotions out of your head using CALM’s Offload Your Thoughts tool. It can help you let off steam and get some perspective on what you're going through. Give it a go.
- If you're feeling suicidal or having thoughts of harming yourself, you can talk to CALM’s helpline. It’s open every day from 5pm to midnight, with trained professionals ready to listen and help. Reaching out might feel difficult, but it’s a brave and important step - and it can make all the difference. You're not alone, and there is support available.
- Outside of these hours, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123 — a free, confidential helpline offering emotional support to anyone in distress, 24/7.
- Contact your GP for an appointment to discuss how you’re feeling.
- Join a CALM Club – CALM hosts communities that are passionate about art, football, walking, running and cycling.
- Mind has more tips on how to tackle loneliness.
- The Mix offers essential support for under 25s. Their site has lots of things you can do to help connect with others who are going through the same thing.
